Does God Tell You Who to Marry?

Published by Angie in Romance with 29 comments
Young man romantically proposing to his pretty girlfriend

A woman wrote to me saying that God told her she was going to marry her last boyfriend.  But when they broke up, he was engaged to another woman within the month.  Now she feels confused.  She’s wondering:  Did God tell me who I was going to marry?

When it comes to marriage, hearing God is tricky because it involves another person’s will.  We should never use hearing God to impose our will upon another person.  If you heard God about an area of your life that intersects with another person’s will – such as marriage, getting a job, applying for school – then I encourage you to keep the matter to yourself.  Don’t tell the other person.

In time, situations will make it clear whether you indeed heard from God.  When God speaks, his promises come to pass.  As you learn to hear God, it’s normal to think that you heard God only to learn that you were mistaken.  Once its clear that you made a mistake – and his being engaged to another woman is a pretty good sign – then, it’s time to move on.  Holding on to a false hope will only haunt you, and keep you from any potential matches that may be in store.

Growing in faith requires that we learn to hear God’s voice.  And yet, it’s normal for our personal desire to cloud our ability to clearly hear God.  I encourage you to continually push your will out of the way, and begin to accept what God has for your life.

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  • This is great, Ang!

    I like how you brought into context how multiple wills are involved in life-changing events, therefore, to not pressure others with the “God told me” comment, but to hold the God-told-me’s inside and trust that God will bring whatever “He said” to pass. A lightness comes to the heart when you decide to do this… peace and joy stays and you’re free to live life without worrying whether you’ve missed it or messed it up.

    Thanks for doing these videos! You’re amazing.

  • Wow I’ve never heard someone address this topic before. Thanks for the advice Angie!

  • Thank you Angie,

    God did tell me that this man would be my husband, I would never have told him but someone i thought I could trust told
    him and I was so embarrassed. She said he needed to know. I have learned my lesson to keep it in my heart. His pastor told him God won’t tell women that a man is to be her husband. He gave the scripture when a man finds a wife…
    I thank God for the peace He has given to me. I know what I heard and pray that God will still work it out. Thank you
    for being obedient to God in making this video.


  • Thank you(: i have always wondered about this topic

  • Thank you so much.I was shown in several dreams that this particular girl will be my wife.I dated her abt 2yrs ago and i had to quit because she was not a believer but I loved her very much

    I even had a confirmation dream the night before I met her for the first time in 2yrs at her sisters baby shower.I wasn’t sure how to handle this because I think she is still not born but she likes me.Thanks Angie for your advice trusting that God will bring it to pass.

    Actually In another dream {typicaly how I receive my prophesies} I was shown that she will ask me to join her to church.Thats probably when I’ll share with her.Thank you so much.You just answered what I was searching for.May God bless!!!

  • Just trust God, if its Him who promised He’ll bring it to pass in His own time, if He did not promise and you heard from your own fleshly desires for this man, then no matter how you pray it wont come to pass. Im not trying to discourage you hence i urge you to make show It was God speaking to you in the first place…but all the best!

  • God told me that the man I use to see was the man I will marry. In the beginning when we started to see each other. I was feeling lost not looking to date no one, After he told me something special I had a feeling there was something great about him! I told my friend how I really liked him. She blurted out he’s going to be your husband! I (ACTS 2:17 IN THE LAST DAYS GOD SAYS I WILL POUR OUT MY SPIRIT ON ALL PEOPLE… YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS WILL PROPHECY AND YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL SEE VISIONS, AND YOUR OLD MEN SHALL SEE DREAMS) did take what was said to heart for a little while. Then as time went by I didnt dwell n it. Doing that time I was in the world not focused on being married living somewhat wordly with sin. Satan did blind me and we both was living a life with out God in our lives. Since we been apart the Lord has confirmed to me many of times that he’s the one! through scriptures, music that still small voice, prophets, even people who dont know what’s going on, also signs and miracles. Whats so wonderful is that he gave me his name.! I definitely had to make sure. I never experienced anything like this. Good is good very worthty to be praised! he will indeed show you if a relationship is right for you! I give him the glory I put him first and the thanks I get. As a matter of fact this is the year that the love of my life will be back forever. I havnt heard his voice in a while it’s ok because I know what’s promised to me.

  • I believe when I was overseas God told me who my wife would be. I told one person, who told my chain of command, who told her, who told the guy she was dating, who was probably the mysterious unamed person, who told my CPT, that I said stuff about her that I didn’t say and probably shouldn’t write on here. Then I was diagnosed with a mental disorder by an athiest CPT, who assured me that him not believing in God didn’t affect his conclusion that God didn’t “really” speak to me. Not to mention that the slander was written on my paperwork, all while I was asking to have an oppurtunity to face my accuser and deny the charges. Which I was denied because it was allready on the paperwork. Bottom line. In my opinion never tell anyone. But, if you do. Don’t ever back down. Especially if the person is an athiest.

  • A while back I truly believe the Lord was telling me that my boyfriend was the one He had prepared as my husband.. Excited for the revelation I ran to him to tell him what the Lord has shared with me.. Unfortunately it was not also reveled to him at that point in time.. We dated for a couple more years after that both seeking God’s will for our lives.. A month and a half ago we broke up.. In this time I have clung to the Lord confused and hurt.. I felt betrayed by the Lord wondering if this was a cruel joke..

    Through trusting and turning to my Jesus I know that He did not betray me and that He has plans to prosper me not to harm me.. He has made me aware of areas in our relationship that He was not invited and there are areas in both of our hearts that need Him.. and since we (or maybe just me) decided to try to “make” it happen instead of trusting the Lord and turning to Him in prayer on this, He needed to seperate us..

    Now I realize that my reason for sharing wasn’t completely pure excitment.. A big part of me wanted this to make him see that this was God.. I now realize that my only confirmation that it truly was God and not my flesh is if He confirms it in his heart also..

  • How do you make it right with god if you’ve been living with someone,not being married for 5 years, now that I know now that this is called fornication inwhich is a very bad sin! What do we do to make this right in Gods eyes. Very Concerned

    • Hi George,
      What a great step for you to acknowledge the sin in your life and to be willing to reach out to others for help! God is obviously working in your heart. Do you have a relationship with Jesus? This is the most important question to figure out. He loves you and he wants to have a relationship with you! If you do not have a relationship with him, all you have to do is pray and tell Jesus that you love him, admit your sins to him, and ask him to save you from those sins. Once you do that, (or if you have done that already), Jesus has paid for that sin has already forgiven you. He will help you change your situation through his power and grace, and empower you to live a life that continually honors him more and more. I would suggest that you try to talk with a trusted pastor in a Bible-based church, or talk with a Christian counselor. I imagine that they will likely advise you to either marry the woman you are living with, or to perhaps change your living situation for a time. Just remember: GOD ALREADY LOVES YOU, even in the midst of the sin of the past five years. He just wants to help free you from sin so that you feel more whole, and so that your girlfriend feels more free and whole and honored as well. Please seek out a mature Christian who will help advise you without judging you. I’ll be praying for you as well. I hope at least some of this is helpful!

  • So I’ve been just reading stories over – I am a nursing student and in a time of my life where I feel as God is testing my faith and wanting me to completely focus and depend on Him. But I met a guy recently – just friends (which I prefer right now) but its like I’m finally at peace and content because I feel like I just know I’m going to marry him. Things have fallen into place with the way we met – Seems to be God – but…I see the pattern of people’s stories. Not all are the same…its hard to explain, its just that felling of “I just know…” I guess I trust God and time will well!

  • So recently I have felt God telling me that I’m going to marry this guy (Ryan) that is a friend of mine but I have another friend that says that Ryan thinks he has found “the one”. I’m so confused. What should I do?

  • Being an older christian with lots of life experiences I can tell the ladies one thing. Keep it to yourself. Unless God has told you and told you specifically to speak to the man about what you feel is God’s divine plan for you as a couple, keep silent and pray like crazy.

  • Rhea, I agree with Elizabeth. If you think Ryan is the guy for you, but you don’t have a romantic relationship, then its best to keep that desire to yourself. Should you start dating Ryan, you should still keep it to yourself . . . until he starts to indicate that he’s on the same page. Remember, God doesn’t author confusion. If you feel confused, then there may be something else at play here. God bless!

  • I just wanted to say that God can tell the woman before the man knows. Here is my story. 3 months ago, God told me who my husband would be as he was teaching the bible study that night. I did not want to believe it because I had never looked at the guy in that way. 3 months and 1 day later he called me and asked if we could start dating. He said God had recently revealed me to him and that he at first wanted to go in the other direction. I know God is hilarious!!! We are on day 2 of our relationship and I am so excited about our union. Trust in the LORD do not tell the man that you know and wait!!!! Be patient it will come to pass when God sees it FIT!

    • AW, you said that when God told you that he was your husband you didn’t want to believe it… Did you eventually believe that he was the one or did you just sit back and watch to see if it really happened? Thank you!

  • Its so hard waiting… l like this guy at my church so much..but he has a girlfriend…i feel the lord said that he would be my husband…would god tell me this if this guy had a girlfriend?? i can just see us together in my mind! I find waiting hard…p.s…thanks angie and god bless you.

  • Thank you very much for this…well i came looking because there is a guy i was friends with(i say was because i stopped the friendship)for years now this guy some how believe that i am the one for him even though i have absolutely no feeling for him and never will.I told him in so many ways but he just wont listen.I had to stop talking to him,i even begged him because he was getting on my nerves.
    After i had to tell my pastor to speak to him to leave me alone he stopped but then he will still call to say he loves me and wants to marry me.Im thinking of changing my how much i dont want nothing to do with him anymore
    I know God have shown me the man for me and even though i havnt met him yet i know its not this man for sure.God will tell me or atleast make me even like him which i dont.I know its what he feels or thinks he feels that makes him dream or believe God is speaking to him about me
    No one has the right to keep bugging someone about what they think God told them because if it was God he will tell the other person somehow or change their heart towards you not by your going on about it.

    If you are not dating the person,leave it up to the Lord to tell them,and if they come up to you about it or to ask you out then you know its true.
    Sorry for the long msg but he called again today,i cant take it no more
    God is good all the same.Stay blessed

  • Last year when I first met my ex online, I heard a voice that said to me “I want you to marry him” I wasn’t thinking about marriage nor did I want to get married again. I thought it was strange that I heard this voice so clearly but I knew it was the still small voice of God, I was sure. I never heard anything like this before. It just came out of the blue. Anyway, we seem to have communication problems and we have recently broke up because of this and him always looking for other women every time we have an argument. I even said to God, “you want me to marry him?” Because he was so out of my normal type of man to be with. But, we are broken up with no signs of getting back together, he is looking for another girlfriend. Sometimes I think it was really the devil who told me this because I must say I have been pretty sad the entire year of our relationship because he seems very selfish to me and that he does not truly love me like he said he did. So, I asked God in prayer if it was him and I turned to the Bible and got confirmation that his sheep hear his voice. So now the only thing I have left is that perhaps I am not one of his sheep after all or that this man will be back in my life at some future point and that the Lord has truly spoken to me. Praise God for helping his people hear his still small voice and know what way to go.

  • Hi Nancy, Thanks for sharing your experience. My advice would be to rule out the option that “your not His sheep.” God’s sheep hear his voice, but they we are also prone to deception. We all fall into that trap. Having heard God, my approach is to tuck it away and move on. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Whatever you do, pay attention to the signs you’re getting from this guy. If he’s out of the picture, then open up your heart to other men. Let God reveal his desires for you in at least two ways, 1) speaking to your heart, 2) through the opportunities he sets before you. God Bless!

  • First of all,thank you so much for the awesome post about Gods will and ”the one”..its very informative and makes a lot of sense.Okay!!!There’s­ this guy that I dated back when I was 13,it was only a short period of time(he was my first kiss by the way)we broke up because he wanted to have sex with me but I wasn’t ready(I mean helooo I was thirteen!!!).I quickly got over him but the feelings started creeping back over the years.Just looking at him makes me smile.we were not really talking to eachother anymore but I still had deep feelings for him.I prayed to god for us to atleast be friends(hopefully more) even if I knew he was already in a ”serious relationship” now but somehow I felt I wanted to be with him.I asked God to give me a sign as an indication of his approval and that day out of the blue,he waved at I know it may not sound like a big deal so just to confirm,I asked for more signs and I got them,about seven of them…I tried to convince myself that maybe it was a coincidence but they are just too many..Nothing happened though and it still seems that he is inlove with that girl.I really care about him and I want what’s best for him.So now I don’t understand what to do because we hardly talk to each other,he has a girlfriend but I got the signs..what could they mean,were they coincidences?,will God bring us together one day?….I’m confused and even scared to ask for more signs.I also prayed that however you will respond will be his way of answering me.I really want to be there for this guy and I just want him to be happy but what god says matters to me the most.and I want to know If I should move on or wait on God to do something.pleez help!!

    • Hey Sasha! Thanks for reaching out and telling me your story. I wrote a series’ about hearing God that addresses the very things you’re talking about — signs from God, signals from other people, etc. If you read that series, it should answer your questions. If not, then hit me back with more questions. I’m happy to help, if I can. Here’s the first post in the series, and be sure to catch and be sure to catch part 8: Is he the one?

  • Wow. So many stories. Here is mine. I met a guy on a holiday. After a few days I had a big crush on him…embarrasing since I was 25 at that time. Well. I tried to act cool…but only succeeded in acting cool towards him. I also had some ideas about being a christian that might have come over as judgemental. Anyway. After the holiday I was devastated…I cried for a whole month….I told my parents aboiut it ’cause they couldn’t understand why I was crying. To this day I’m not sure if my father might have told this guy about it. Anyway I prayed that God might relieve my pain and help me forget about this guy. I also prayed for a sign to know if my feelings were from God. I had the chance to go to the city where this guy lives and I asked God that if I’m supposed to feel this way about this guy I would bump in to him without making arrangements to meet. Long story short…we met on the sunday in the most unlikely place…without me knowing he would be there. And he was really surprised to see me…we didn’t get a chance to talk much but I thought this was the sign…so we must be meant for eachother..well…it’s been two years since that weekend. And I’ve feelings for this guy. But we’ve not seen eachother or spoken a word since then. So I guess the other person has to feel the same. I’m worried that my feelings might be interpreted by others as unhealthy and maybe dillusional…so I don’t talk about it to anyone I know. I’m still confused by that sign…and wonder why God would let me see him if we were not supposed to be…


  • I know this probably isnt the best start to my love story, but im 20 n around 2 summers ago i was really trying to change my life and do whatever God wanted me to n i was reading this book that really sparked a flame in me bc i had been heart broken and walked on so much. but it was called why men love bitchs… i used to read this book on my roof every day, about half way thru the book i felt so confident in being able to handle a good relationship instead of a bad one. Btw by bitchs the writer ment nothing degrading at all, its basically a book to learn how to stick up for yourself instead of a doormat. Well half way thru i prayed to God asking him to send me someone bc i felt like i was ready. I spent months writing a list of every quality i knew i wanted in a man..That night i met the him@ a restaruant..every little detail on that list from hair color to even farther past my expectations.. Ive never been so genuinely treated good. n i had no clue at the time til after, as we all do.. Our second date he decided to tell me he felt like God sent him to me, i love the irony of the big man. Hit me like a wall and got me all excited.. Well we kindof fell apart 6 months later more so bc i felt like we werent living a relationship thru God anymore. Well he left me, n i prayed and cried n tried to understand why he would send me everything i wanted to take them away.. i prayed that if it was his will if we werent meant to b together to just not let me forget about him, bc if i did i would never go back. n i prayed if we werent meant to b together to help me get over it as quickly and painlessly as possible. Well God having the sense of humor he did, everyone i ended up dating had the same name as him. Even blinde dates i knew nothing about. Or ppl would yell his name when i walked first i thought i was crazy hearing his name everywhere til my bestfriend started to bring up how ironic it was.. Anyways he ended up getting engaged to some girl about 3 months later.. so i tried for a year to get over it and see other ppl. His fiance was cheating and left him for her personal trainer. Missing a front tooth n about as old as her dad. Ha, and she was supposed bible thumpin christian which is why he wanted to marry her i guess. A few months ago we started seeing eachother again as friends, for the most part. One night after a hockey game he took me to he decided to spill the beans that the night he asked her to marry him he lied to her dad and said she was the one for him for the rest of his life but all he could see was him and me growing old together. I jumped out of my skin hearing him confess everything i prayed he never knew about in exact words just knowing only God knew what i prayed and made him tell me himself… he told me he felt like God made him go thru all that to make him a better man for me.. but now im here bc that freaked us both out i guess and now were not talking at all again.. but i think i have alot i need to do alone im still so young. And everything we both went thru this past year molded us more as the ppl i know god wants us to b n if hes gods promise to me and im not living in a fairy tale… i guess well see.

  • I also believe wholeheartedly God told me who I’ll marry. It’s someone that I don’t personally know but know of them. It all started with a dream he was my husband. I didn’t think much it of since I hadn’t given any thought to him in months. Then few weeks later He spoke to me sayin straight up this guy was gonna be my husband. Even gave me a vision. I seriously doubted all of it, and next day He told me again! Since then I’ve prayed for this guy everyday (he’s not a believer), God keeps giving me visions about him and peace about the whole thing. It’s a weird thing in itself but God’s ways are not our ways. I don’t pray for what I want, I pray for God to open this guy’s eyes to God, whether I’m involved or not. His salvation is my top priority. I really liked this article. God bless!

  • Here is the short version of my story. Ive been with this guy for almost 11 years. We dont live together but we do have children together. On and off throughout our relationship he has said God told him we are not suppose to be together. We break up and get back together a few days,later. So advice for anyone in a similar situation , just let go. it gets harder everyday. I still havent been able to let go. I wish I,would have the first time he said it. I love this man so much but I should have let go.

  • I met this guy at church and there was an instant attraction, it was so strong that we decided to fast and pray for Gods will. We had both just ended relationships and this connection was so unexpected. After prayer and fasting, he told me that God has said to him that “he should be in a relationship with his ex” I was devastated
    But upon thinking about it, and knowing God as I do, the fact that God didn’t say she was his wife or that he should marry her, made me wonder if this is from God.

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